How my pregnancy taught me to stop blaming my hormones.
Have you ever done it? You know, blamed your hormones?
Sorry, its JUST my PMS
Sorry, sorry everybody, it’s JUST my pregnancy hormones.
Sorry, I don’t know what is wrong with me, it must JUST be all the hormones since having the baby.
Sorry, sooo sorry, hot flashing over here, it’s JUST my menopause hormones.
Why do we do that? We totally invalidate our emotions and write them off as complete nothingness because they are being affected by hormones. It’s like if an emotion comes from our hormones being “off” it doesn’t count. Seems funny doesn’t it. I mean, sugar crash emotion are real. Fatigue based emotions are real. But somehow if you are in any way hormonal (read FEMALE) your emotions are not real. (Shout out to my trans folks who are talking hormones and whose emotions are all over the map.)
Well I for one am done blaming my hormones for my emotions. And here’s why.
When I got pregnant, I got all ALL THE FEELS, cause you know, hormones. HAHA. I noticed that things that would normally just annoy me would throw me into total rage, things that would make me feel a little down would make me crazy sad. It was like I was feeling all my regular emotional reactions to things but WAY AMPLIFIED.
I was talking to my mom about this recently and she was saying the same about menopause. After several year’s of hot flashes she can now feel them coming at those exact moments when she would normally get a little stressed or frustrated - like fussing with the computer or not finding what you need when you are rushed at the store. It’s like a small annoying becomes a whole body experience.
What I realized during my pregnancy was that my feelings were not JUST my hormones being wacky. It wasn’t JUST some annoying stupid thing going on in my body that I had no control over. It wasn’t JUST something that should be dismissed, ignored and managed. Sound familiar? We talk about periods and menopause the same way.
Actually my hormones were amplifying my emotions, and by doing so they were amplifying my intuition. Rather than something to be ignored, my hormones were creating important signals that were clear cues about my limits, my boundaries and my desires.
I’m often talking about how your vagina is the seat of your power and your intuition and many of you are probably like wtf does she mean when she says that. To be honest I’m still figuring that out too - but this is a piece of the puzzle.
Think of it this way. Imagine your intuition is like this little fairy godmother inside you. She knows what you love want and need. She knows when you are too tired to say yes to this, or when you are so in the mood for that. She knows what you can give and what you need to ask for. She’s speaking to you all the time this little fairy god mother. When you get annoyed someone wasted your time she’s talking to you, when you say yes to something you really don’t want to do she makes you feel heavy or annoyed or frustrated. She speaks the language of emotions.
Now, most of the time, many of us (ahem I’m looking at myself here) are really good at ignoring this little fairy godmother/ our intuition. We shove her in the corner. Say “ yah yah I know” and move on with our days. And most of the time that works for us - at least sort of.
But when your hormones shift (i.e you get your period, or you get pregnant or you go through menopause), that fairy godmother gets louder. Like so loud she flat out refuses to be ignored. She will yell and scream and stamp her feet and be like “OH NO YOU DON”T IGNORE ME GIRL! You’d better…. say no….. rest… eat…. go pee…. get some fresh air….. talk to him….. meditate…take a deep breath…. “ or whatever it is she wants you to do.
All those times you ignored her and just felt a bit annoyed, frustrated, sad, or peevish - those were all cues, that you were not listening to her. With your hormones shifting they are all amplified into rage, anger, deep sadness and a whole lotta feels.
So really it’s not “just your hormones”.
It’s your intuition speaking to you.
It’s your power speaking to you.
When you listen to these signals you can avoid frustration, anger and resentment (at least more often), you will better take care of your physical and mental health, you take accountability for your personal needs, and you can become the version of yourself you want to be.
Your womb, your uterus, your ovaries, your entire reproductive system regulates and shifts the hormones in your body, as your hormones shift you become more sensitive to your intuition (on your moon, when pregnant, during peri-menopause and menopause).
Society has told us that our body’s beautiful amazing natural cycle (through the month, and the seasons of life) is something to be ENDURED, TOLERATED, or WISHED AWAY. I call BS. It is to be respected, honoured, loved and trusted - as the guide we need to care for ourselves and the world.
When you can stop and tune in and listen to your fairy godmother, when you can give yourself rest and love, when you tap into your cycle and stop blaming your hormones, you tap into your power.
So are you with me? Are you ready to stop blaming your hormones too? Some quick tips.
1) Recognize your emotions are cues (of a need not met or a limit crossed). What do you need to shift.
2) Tune into your monthly cycle. Notice when your emotions get louder - what are they trying to share with you?
3) Listen to your body. You need to slow down to do so.. Rest when you need to rest, drink water, walk and move, dance and make love, laugh and cry. It’s all there to be enjoyed.
That’s it for this week my loves. I would so love to hear your thoughts on this. Have you been tuned into your cycle for years? Who taught you? What is your relationship with your intuition? Let me know in the comments.
We discount feminine power because it is EMOTIONAL power. Because it is intuitive power.